General information

Author: Kyung-sook Shin
Publisher: Vintage
Year of publication: 2012
ISBN: 978-0307948977
Pages: 288
Price: 12,47 €

Author

Shin Kyung-Sook is a famous South Korean writer from the 386 Generation[1]. She was born in 1963, as the fourth of six children in a small village in North Jeolla Province in southern South Korea. At the age of sixteen years she moved to Seoul to her older brother, where she worked during the day and attended night school.

Her first Novel Winter’s Fable was published in 1985 after her graduation from Seoul Institute of the Arts as a creative writing major. She won several literary prizes, including the Man Asian Literary Prize for her biggest success the million-copy bestseller Please Look after Mom. It was the first time that a South Korean and a woman has won the Man Asian Literary Prize.

Motivation

My decision for reading Please Look after Mom was based on two criteria. The first was, that I wanted to read a book that was actually read by Koreans. I believe that getting an insight into a society of a foreign country can be achieved by reading books and articles about the society or by reading books and articles that are actually read by the society. There is a reason behind the choice of their readings and it indicates the atmosphere of a society. Please Look after Mom has sold more than 2 Million copies in Korea and has been adapted to a stage play and a musical, which I considered to be a sign of resonance between the story and the society.

The second reason for choosing Please Look after Mom was its focus on family matters. I was curious about the status of family in South Korea and was hoping to learn about everyday life and the interactions between members of an ordinary Korean family.

Background

The novel takes up several issues of current Korean society. The family of the “mother”, So-nyo is exemplary for families in South Korea these days. The author depicts several contrasts of concepts in contemporary Korea, such as the clash of the big city life in Seoul versus the provincial life in a small village, high education versus illiteracy, young generation versus old generation, persistence versus permanent changes, bond and attachment (정) among family members versus individualism that creates distance especially among family members and last but not least the traditional picture of a Korean mom versus successful business women.

Important Characters

So-nyo (the mother): Is described as hard-working, self-sacrificing and responsible person, who spent her whole life taking care of her family.

Chi-hon: Is So-nyo’s eldest daughter. She is a successful novelist and her life shows the biggest contrast to her mother’s life.

Hyong-chol: Is the oldest son of the mother and her favorite child. He didn’t fulfill mom’s expectations and is in constant fear to be a disappointment to her.

Father: Husband of So-nyo, who is described as an irresponsible and selfish man. He drinks, has no (good) job, has affairs and leaves the mom alone with her children if he is in the mood for it.

Sister: the youngest daughter So-nyo who is a mother of three children. She sees her mom as a person with needs and buys her an expensive mink coat when So-nyo asks her for one.

Content

The novel opens one week after So-nyo’s disappearance. The first part is written in the voice of her elder daughter Chi-hon, who is describing pieces of memories from her childhood while searching for her missing Mom. Chi-hon, a well doing novelist who is unmarried and without children, is the child that seems to be the most desperate about finding their mom. The following dialogue from the book is a good reflection of the roles of Chi-hon and So-nyo:

You never thought of Mom as separate from the kitchen. Mom was the kitchen and the kitchen was Mom. You never wondered, Did Mom like being in the kitchen? (p. 60)

 “Mom, do you like being in the kitchen?” When you asked this once, your mom didn’t understand what you meant.”

“Did you like being in the kitchen? Did you like to cook?” Mom’s eyes held yours for a moment.

“I don’t like or dislike the kitchen. I cooked because I had to. I had to stay in the kitchen so you could all eat and go to school. How could you only do what you like? There are thinks you have to do whether you like it or not.” (p. 65)

The second part is written out of the perspective of Hyong-chol the oldest son of the family and the favorite child of So-nyo. He embodies all of the mothers hope that education can get one out of the dependencies of poverty. So-nyo is ashamed that she is not capable of reading and writing, and she tries to hide her illiteracy. He is the first member of the family moving to Seoul in order to study at a college:

“And a few month later, he learned that here was a night law college in Seoul and decided to apply for it. He realized that he needed his high-school graduation certificate. If he sent a letter asking for a copy and waited for it to come by mail from the countryside, it would arrive after the application was due. So he wrote a letter to his father, requesting that he go to the bus terminal with a copy of the certificate and ask someone coming to Seoul to take it for him. […] In the middle of the night, as he was wondering what he could do about the application, which was due the next day, someone banged on the door of the office, where he was living at the time. […] His mom was standing behind the young man, shivering in the cold” (p. 83)

The next part is written in the voice of the father of the family and the husband of mom. He is the one letting go of mom at Seoul Station, where she was seen last by him. While the reader can at least partly sympathise with the children of So-nyo, the flashbacks of the father show a thoughtless and unloving father and husband. He was no help but needed help, he didn’t solve troubles but was the trouble and So-nyo stayed a faithful wife and loving mother nevertheless.

“You walked in front of your wife your entire life. Sometimes you would turn a corner without even looking back. When your wife called you from far behind, you would grumble at her, asking her why she was walking so slowly. And so fifty years passed. When you waited for her, she stopped next to you, her cheeks reddened, saying with a smile, “I still wish you’d go a little slower.” You assumed that was how you would live out the rest of your days. But since that day in Seoul Station when you left on the subway train, that day when she was only a few steps behind you, your wife still hasn’t come to you.” (p. 161)

The last part of the novel is written out of the perspective of So-nyo herself. In this part of the book, the youngest daughter of the family is described in more detail. She is a highly-educated woman living in Seoul and a mother of three children. The younger daughter is the one coming closest to what the traditional Korean mother is like and still, So-nyo is disapproving the motherhood of her youngest daughter as she fears for the good chances that her own daughter has to sacrifice as a mother herself. In the end the mother apologizes for her disapproving reaction to her daughter’s motherhood in the following way:

“Please forgive me for the face I made when you came back to Seoul with the third baby in your arms. The day you looked at me with shock on your face, blurting out “Mom!” has been weighing on my heart. Why was it? Was it because you didn’t plan to have a third baby? Or was it because you were embarrassed to tell me that you had a third baby, when your older sister wasn’t even married yet? For whatever reason, you hid the fact that you’d a third baby in the faraway land, instead suffering through morning sickness all by yourself, and only when you were about to give birth you tell us that you were having a baby. I didn’t do anything to help when you had the baby, but when you came back, I said to you, ”What were you thinking? You were thinking, three babies?” (p. 205)

It ends with a declaration of love to her fourth child “Rest a bit. Don’t be sad for me. I was happy so many days of my life because I had you.” (p. 216)

Conclusion

Please look After Mom is an exceptional novel, that encourages the reader, to reflect what the reasons of happiness and struggles in life really are. It shows that today’s society of Korea fights with a lack of appreciation for each other due to individual lifestyle, which is shown in the relationships between the mother and her husband and children. The tragedy of the situation is obviously evoked by the realization of So-nyo’s family that there is no chance of telling their wife and mother, that they value her and that they know that she lived her life as a good wife and mother. For me the author is challenging her readers and today’s society to hold motherhood in high esteem and give it the value it deserves. I would recommend Please Look After Mom to everyone who is interested in a thoughtful and heartwarming novel. Eventually everyone who reads this book will ask the same question: “What about me, am I ‘Looking After Mom’?”

[1] This was the first generation of South Koreans to grow up free from the poverty that had marked South Korea in the recent past. The broad political mood of the generation was far more left-leaning than that of their parents, or their eventual children.